The Cinnamon Roll That Saved My Life.
Dear friends,
It’s been a long time since I have written on my blog or sent a newsletter. My hope is that today this letter to you will be an example of a truth: whatever is disconnected can be reconnected.
I have been thinking about you all so much lately and wanting to connect with you in this way but I have not always had the inspiration or the motivation to sit down and write.
Here I am though, in the middle of this world crisis we are all in, and something so lovely happened to me just before we all began sheltering in place that I wanted to share with you because I think we all need healing stories right now. This is a healing story.
As some of you know, I moved to East Sacramento at the end of November. I was living far from the city before and moving close to the city has provided me with many gifts. One of those gifts is that before this quarantine I used to be able to walk to many places. If you know me, you know my LOVE for brunch and living where I do gets me to one of my favorite breakfast places in five minutes. That place is on J Street, it’s called Bacon and Butter. I loved walking there and taking myself to brunch. I used to do this about once a week.
In December I was there with a friend and I remember my server that day kept looking at me. It wasn’t the normal checking on me or the table. She kept looking at me, almost as if she knew me. It wasn't necessarily weird, but near the end of the meal she walked over and said, "You know... you look like my mother."
Dead stop.
Of course my first thought was, "Great! Now I'm at the age where I look like some young girl's mother!" That’s a first for me and a gut check. But then she continued, "She even wears those hoop earrings like you are... you look just like her..." and her sincerity melted my heart in that moment.
Fast forward a month to the beginning of January, right after my sweet dog, Shiva passed away. I was completely overwhelmed with grief. I was sobbing all day long and I wasn't eating so I told myself that I needed to get out. "I need to get out of the house and eat something even if I'm crying...". So I mustered up the strength to go to Bacon and Butter with tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat.
When I got there I sat down at the bar thinking (and hoping) that I wouldn’t see anyone I knew. I walked in, scanned the room and didn’t recognize a soul. Until, my server walked right up in front of me. Guess who it was? MY DAUGHTER. The server that told me a month before that I looked just like her mother.
She came up to me and looked at me, I could tell she dropped everything in that moment to be with me. She held me with her eyes and I could feel her feeling me and she asked, "Are you ok?" I knew she could feel my pain and she was willing to. It was truly beautiful. I told her, "Yes, well... my dog just died, but yes... I'm ok." She said she was sorry for my loss and I could tell by her eyes that she meant it. About halfway through my meal, she walked up right next to me at the bar and said, "I bought this for you," and she opened up a togo container that had a HUGE cinnamon roll - like the best cinnamon roll of your life! - inside of it! Which I had never tried before that day. She said to me, “When I’m sad eating something sweet always makes me feel better.” She told me to pop it into my oven for 3 minutes and it would be warm and taste like it was just made. She said she hoped it would make me feel better. It was the sweetest thing... this girl who was acting like my most loving daughter... and me needing just that kind of care in that moment.
I went home full of sweetness that day and feeling so blessed that there are strangers all around us who are willing to hold space just when we need it. I believe that her kindness saved me that day. This was the cinnamon roll that saved that life.
What I'm trying to say here - if it's not utterly clear... is that you may need that reminder. You may be stuck at home and feeling all kinds of feelings and I want you to know that we are all in this life thing together. Every single one of us. We are not alone even when we think we are. We don't laugh alone or grieve alone or feel alone. Not ever.
We are together even when we are apart.
I love you.
Diana
Have you heard? You can do yoga with me at home!! Over 32 videos to practice with me anytime you want. Clothing optional. Click on the link below to find out more about my online membership for 30 dollars a month. It’s called The Breathless Club.